Waking Up
by Castleholic
Summary: Beckett doesn't remember anything after giving her speech at Montgomery's funeral.
1. Chapter 1

The last thing she could remember was the sound of shots ringing in her ears and Castle's voice begging her to stay with him. All she could remember after that was everything slowly becoming dark all around her. She had no idea where she was, was she still in the middle of Montgomery's funeral, was she at home and all that happened was a bad nightmare, was she at Castle's house. _Castle _she thought, was he OK, where was he, did they come after him, accidently hit him, had they captured him. Beckett's head began to swarm with scenarios; she didn't know which one was what had really happened. As she became a little more conscious she kept her eyes shut, scared that if she opened them she would be in some basement with Locwood and his men ready to kill her the instant she opened her eyes. She shook her head slightly to try and clear her head but as soon as she moved it she felt a rush of pain shoot through her temples to her forehead. She scrunched her face waiting for the pain to subside.

"...Kate?"

This voice sounded too familiar too her. She tried not to open her eyes knowing it was probably her brain just playing tricks on her. She knew who she wanted to see when decided to open her eyes but she knew he probably wouldn't be there. She fought with herself to stop her eyes from flinging open. She knew she couldn't handle being disappointed if he wasn't there and she was scared to find out where she truly was.

"...Kate?"

_There was the voice again_ Beckett thought. This time she couldn't resist and her eyes flung open. As first she was taken aback by the bright light and immediately shut her eyes, she slowly opened them again trying to become accustom to the light. She noticed the white tile ceiling that was above her and see knew she was not anywhere she recognized. The thoughts about Locwood capturing her started to return into her head until she realized she was in a bed. She heard beeping coming from around her and she looked around and noticed all the machines she had been hooked up to. _I'm in a hospital, what happened?_ She tried to sit up but an awful pain began in her chest, she scrunched her face in pain as she slowly lowered herself back onto her back still determined to figure out what had happened.

"What's wrong? Are you OK? Do you need me to get a doctor?"

Of course how could she forget, the voice. That's why she opened her eyes in the first place. She hesitantly turned her head to her left. A small smile crept onto her face when she saw him. His tall figure sitting in the chair as close to her bed as he could be. His blue eyes staring at her, she could notice the worry in them. They were puffy and red and he had dark circles under his eyes. Beckett tried to convince herself that he hadn't been crying over her but all the signs were there. She noticed his dark hair was a mess like he had ran his hand through it too many times. He was wearing a suit which had become crumpled and he had grass and dirt stains on his knees,

"...Castle. What happened?"

"Kate...you were shot...at Montgomery's funeral...no one saw it coming...I tried to..." He dropped his head into his hand and muttered "This is all my fault."

"Rick look at me...none of this is your fault, there is nothing you could have done."

"Yes there was Kate….I saw the reflection before they shot….I should have realized what it was….Kate I could have lost you….It would have been all my fault."

"Castle you weren't the one who shot me….or were you?" Beckett said in a playful tone hoping to get a smile out of him but had no such luck. She had never seen Castle this seriously unless it had to do with Alexis. Seeing this side of Castle made Beckett miss his playful side, especially when none of what happened was his fault and he should be happy she was ok.

**AN: I know this is short but it just hit me tonight and I wasn't sure if it was a good start and plot so I wrote this much and wanted to see what you guys thought. Please review! Let me know if I should continue or not. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys sorry it took so long to update this story between school and then being away for Memorial Day weekend I had no time. Hope you enjoy it.**

Castle's eyes darted open as he heard an increase in the beeping sound coming from one of the machines Kate was hooked up too. He began to worry as thoughts about losing her filled his mind. He shook his head to clear his mind of negative thoughts because he knew if he lost her he wouldn't be able to function anymore. He hesitantly looked up and scanned each machine until he found the machine that was making the noise that caused him to worry. He realized it was the one connected to her index finger, keeping track of her heartbeat. He felt his heart drop into his stomach as his instincts kicked in and he got out of the chair to go get a nurse, he was determined not to lose her. As he reached the door he heard her shuffle in her bed and noticed a painful look had come over her face. He drew in a deep breath and made his way back to the chair he had pulled up to the side of her bed trying to get as close as he could to her. He put his forehead back into the palms of his hands and tried to calm himself down, telling himself she was just having a bad dream and she would be fine. After a few minutes he realized he couldn't let her keep suffering through her dream. He lifted his head up, opened his mouth and in a low, quiet voice he called her name.

"Kate…."

He saw her fight to keep her eyes closed. He bent his head back down and tried to fall back asleep, he knew he was lucky to have fallen asleep the first time. Every time he closed his eyes the same picture popped into his head, Kate lying in his arms with blood all over her uniform fighting to stay conscious. How could he let that happen to her? It should have been him. He should have realized what the reflection was and moved her out of the way sooner. What would he have done if he lost her? He kept asking himself these questions as he tried to fall asleep. He finally came up with an answer and realized he wouldn't be able to live without her. Knowing he couldn't sleep he tried calling her name again.

"Kate…."

It took a few seconds but Beckett's eyes flew open but quickly closed and another painful look took over her face. Castle started to worry again not knowing what happened to her. He stared at her accepting the risk that if she opened her eyes again and noticed him staring he could potentially get hurt but that didn't matter to him. After a minute or so he noticed her eyes slowly start to open again. He watched her as she took him her surroundings trying to figure out where she was. Castle wanted to reassure her, tell she was just fine but he couldn't figure out which words to say. He continued to watch her as she figured out she was in a hospital, once she was sure she tried to sit up but as soon as she moved she cringed and brought one of her hands to her chest and she slide down onto her back. Castle couldn't watch her in pain and blurted out.

"What's wrong? Are you OK? Do you need to me to get a doctor?"

As soon as he spoke he watched as her head slowly turned towards him, her eyes met his and a small smile crept onto her face. His eyes didn't leave her face as she inspected him up and down as though she thought she was dreaming his presents. Her low voice snapped his attention away from her face.

"Castle what happened?"

It took him all he had not start crying, not to just hug her and be thankful that he still had her.

"Kate…..you were shot….at Montgomery's funeral…no one saw it coming….I tried too..." He dropped his head to shield the tears that had escaped his eyes. "This is all my fault…" He blurted out.

"Rick look at me...none of this is your fault, there is nothing you could have done."

"Yes there was Kate….I saw the reflection before they shot….I should have realized what it was….Kate I could have lost you….It would have been all my fault."

"Castle you weren't the one who shot me….or were you?" He heard the playful tone in her voice but he just didn't understand how she could joke about this. She almost lost her life. He almost lost her. He was about to answer when there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in." Beckett said in a soft light voice. Castle was surprised when he the door open and he noticed the bright red hair that was facing towards the door as she finished a conversation she was having with one of the doctors. She turned around and noticed the shocked look on her father's face. She entered the room and headed straight for Beckett's bed.

"Detective Beckett how are you feeling?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm just fine Alexis, you didn't have to stop by."

"Of course I did, Detective we all saw you get shot, it was hard for no one to ride in the ambulance with you well except for my dad. He told them he was your partner and they let him right on."

Beckett glanced over to Castle who was slowly turning a bright shade of red. Before she could say anything to him he excused himself from the room. She watched as he walked out of the room, his hands were shaking by his side and he kept shaking his head back and forth. Alexis took her father's seat next to the Detective's bed and started asking her questions on how she was feelings. When Alexis ran out of questions and the room became awkwardly silent Beckett decided it was her turn to ask questions.

"Did he really ride with me all the way to the hospital?" She blurted out.

"Yup, he stayed here during your entire surgery and up until the moment I walked in." Alexis said in a confident voice as if she were proud of her dad for doing the right thing.

"Oh….." Beckett was surprised, after their fight she thought he would be the last person to stay with her.

"He cried for you Detective." Alexis said hesitantly, as if she didn't if was right to tell. "He's never cried for a woman before you from what I know. I know he didn't want anyone of us too know but he's my father and of course I could tell. As they were loading you into the ambulance and all he could do was stand there and watch he began to cry. He really cares about you Detective." Alexis told her knowing she probably already knew her father cared for her but she needed just how much he did.

"He cried?" Beckett didn't know how to respond to this, she never had a man besides her dad cry when something happened to her. She was taken aback by everything that Alexis just told her which triggered something in her memory. She remembered the last words that Castle and said to her just before she blacked out.


End file.
